indigo moon

blog moved!

2010-12-06T14:21:00.001-08:00

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a glimpse

2010-04-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

(a work in progress, from the cover of black britain by paul gilroy)

(breast series #1)

(self-portrait in oil)

2010-03-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

ill wear sable ... someday

2010-03-15T15:03:00.000-07:00

it breathes

2010-02-22T17:41:00.000-08:00

song-bird sound
pierces hauntingly
soft chord spine
progression to nirvana
triumphantly
dropping again
rising again

2010-02-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

2010-01-31T18:46:00.000-08:00

2010-01-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

leaves
we fell from the same tree
pear-shaped
diamond-shaped
blowing and shifting
the gap is
oh so evident

2010-01-13T12:49:00.000-08:00

2010-01-06T09:24:00.001-08:00

all around you

2010-01-03T17:37:00.001-08:00

ive hidden my heart too many times before

2010-01-02T20:26:00.001-08:00

gardening

2009-12-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

mistress mary, quite contrary,

how does your garden grow?

with silver bells, and cockle shells,

and pretty maids all in a row.

who says i like right angles?

2009-12-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

an ode to pancakes

2009-12-25T14:10:00.000-08:00

he smiles at me with his tiny chicklet teeth and a spatula in his hand. he's so small at the stove. propped up on a padded wooden stool, wearing only a t-shirt; no pants, immersed in his creation. pancakes. a wheat-toned island, blanketed by terra-cotta tiles split the kitchen into two sections. i run my fingers over the lacqured tile, loving the imperfection. i trace with my fingers over the thin lines of muddy grout-- making squares.

two poems

2009-12-25T13:45:00.000-08:00

i am at an old tree on roxmill court
we met years ago

walking the mushy earth feels familiar

sparks of sunlight are bouncing off of me
dancing on the tips of my hair

the colors are just as i remember
ivory against all shades of brown
green bursting in lime
auburn
pale yellows
and hints of red

it's more kept now
flowers all around

i see now my color scheme for life
and why i am so attracted

the fall here is bliss
and actually, so are all of the seasons

summer heat
filled with wild waves of green
fresh grass scented
crunching echoes through the forest

i spot the oak
where we once found a slick black snake
dripping down the bark like wet tar

all of my neighbors are gone from this place
its reality only a memory
but its sweetness is ever-present

.......................................

lost in the forest... by pablo neruda

Lost in the forest, I broke off a dark twig
and lifted its whisper to my thirsty lips:
maybe it was the voice of the rain crying,
a cracked bell, or a torn heart.

Something from far off it seemed
deep and secret to me, hidden by the earth,
a shout muffled by huge autumns,
by the moist half-open darkness of the leaves.

Wakening from the dreaming forest there, the hazel-sprig
sang under my tongue, its drifting fragrance
climbed up through my conscious mind

as if suddenly the roots I had left behind
cried out to me, the land I had lost with my childhood---
and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent.

2009-12-21T08:59:00.001-08:00

hooray corn!

2009-12-18T07:55:00.001-08:00

they tell me vampires can go through stone walls

2009-12-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

mt. si

2009-12-16T20:35:00.000-08:00

dear seattle,

with your mountainous charm
you're a dream

fresh air
never-ending skies
still
with flickering lights
you shine

i love your hills
and the awe of emptiness
lush green
i could drink you

bring me
more color and sun
you'll have me

your whiteness is epic
snow-capped beauty

our endless numbered days

2009-12-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

2009-12-15T12:42:00.001-08:00

check it.

2009-12-14T11:41:00.000-08:00

archiving the city

breaking

2009-12-10T09:57:00.000-08:00

bulbous blurs

2009-12-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

grey delights

2009-12-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

2009-12-08T09:11:00.001-08:00

you don't want to miss out.

2009-12-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

2009-12-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

experimental glyph

2009-12-01T14:11:00.001-08:00

ride and shoot

2009-11-29T13:18:00.000-08:00

euphoric

2009-11-25T12:38:00.000-08:00

glow

2009-11-25T08:07:00.000-08:00

sketches

2009-11-24T09:02:00.000-08:00

don't take the fruit!

2009-11-24T08:09:00.001-08:00

a recurring theme

2009-11-23T14:36:00.000-08:00

...

2009-11-23T08:20:00.001-08:00

hello weekend

2009-11-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

nothing to get hung about

2009-11-19T09:39:00.001-08:00

for nasozi

2009-11-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

pamplemoussi by genevieve castree

2009-11-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

reflections on kid A

2009-11-18T08:02:00.001-08:00

the best game ever

2009-11-17T05:50:00.000-08:00

el aire

2009-11-16T21:10:00.000-08:00

pockets

2009-11-16T20:46:00.000-08:00

2009-11-16T20:31:00.001-08:00

overload of light

2009-11-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

(sophieabbott.net)

2009-11-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

forecast

2009-11-14T18:32:00.000-08:00

yep.

2009-11-12T12:27:00.001-08:00

birthday love

2009-11-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

month of the scorpion

2009-11-11T08:23:00.000-08:00

(The Sun is in Scorpio from approximately October 23 to November 21, depending on the year.)

Scorpios are known for their intensity. They are determined folk that absolutely throw themselves into whatever they do -- but getting them to commit to something is rarely an easy task. In fact, it's better not to even try to "get them" to do anything. Solar Scorpios absolutely have their own mind. And, their primary motivation is unlikely to be prestige (like their Capricorn friends), or even authority (Leos can have that, too)--it's real power. Their power can absolutely be of the "behind the scenes" variety, just as long as they have it.

To others, Scorpios seem to have plenty of willpower. They probably do. Scorpios do know what they want, and they won't go out and grab it at the wrong moment. They simply sit back, watch (quite expertly), and then get it only when the moment is just right. This apparent patience is simply their powerful skills at strategy at work.

Scorpio isn't afraid of getting their hands (their bodies, their minds) dirty. The darker side of life intrigues them, and they're always ready to investigate.

Scorpios simply never give up. They have tremendous staying power. They're not in the slightest intimidated by anybody or anything. Confrontations are not a problem. In fact, talk to any Scorpio about their lives, and you'll probably be in awe at all they've gone through. Trauma seems to follow them wherever they go. When Scorpio learns optimism, instead of expecting the worst, they'll find that they possess amazing regenerative powers -- the power to heal, create, and transform.

diamond in the back

2009-11-11T08:22:00.000-08:00

through the golden leaves

2009-11-10T12:51:00.000-08:00

coal colored branches
leaf stained path
saturate me

i welcome the stars with wine and guitars

2009-11-09T08:21:00.000-08:00

69 degrees in november

2009-11-08T10:32:00.001-08:00

movern callar

2009-11-08T10:13:00.001-08:00

time just flies

2009-11-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

2009-11-06T07:30:00.000-08:00

random inspiration

2009-11-05T21:36:00.001-08:00

2009-11-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

nostaligia

2009-11-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

i couldn't sleep last night

2009-11-04T10:03:00.001-08:00

mati klarwein

2009-11-03T10:45:00.000-08:00

good morning november

2009-11-02T08:29:00.000-08:00

we're birthday twins.

what love is

2009-11-01T14:32:00.000-08:00

yesterday, my grandma turned 94.

octubre en espana (2)

2009-10-31T09:12:00.000-07:00

octubre en espana (1)

2009-10-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

colony greens

2009-10-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

mom

2009-10-10T12:49:00.001-07:00

waterland in nassau

2009-10-10T12:46:00.001-07:00

tell me what you see

2009-10-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

cape canaveral

2009-09-30T15:10:00.000-07:00

little things i see in between the big ones.
little things that stick out.
shiny, exciting and bright.
i want to touch them, take them, cut them out.

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!!!

2009-06-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

i was 4. i used to sit alone, listening to thriller in my shadowed living room. i got scared everytime i would hear vincent price do his evil laugh.

even still, i listened, over and OVER.

used to dress up. pretend i was the girl in the video: the way you make me feel.

sang LOUD with my mom and sisters.

never thought it would hit me like this.

i am now, one of the fans. crying over you.

one dress for 365 days

2009-06-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.theuniformproject.com/

amber light

2009-06-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

i keep thinking of you.

2009-06-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

(john chamberlain @ the dia beacon)

downtown 81

2009-05-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

cabo surfers

2009-05-04T18:19:00.000-07:00

los cabos, mexico. october 2008.

((headphones required))

playing with moving pictures

2009-05-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

a montage from random camera footage.

((headphones required))

gem of a scorpio

2009-05-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

sick!

2008-11-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

i thoroughly enjoyed this.

yesterday, i was

2008-11-06T18:25:00.000-08:00

amazed. aware. joyful. proud. sad. uncertain. gleeful. impressed. grateful. peaceful. connected. excited. inspired. inquisitive. astonished. energetic. curious. elated.

reality, folks.

2008-10-16T14:07:00.001-07:00

i just came across this book title:

"Plain Honest Men: The Making of the American Constitution."

i'm sorry, no.

cymbaline, where have you been?

2008-09-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

just when i thought i had heard all of pink floyd's best songs

i found this...

which led to this...

2008-09-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

*last night i dreamt of shooting stars, spouting like firecrackers across a black sky*

SHOOTING STAR: to see a shooting star in your dream, is a sign of self-fulfilment and advancement. a shooting start is symbolic of a new birth and changes in your life.

just a typical day at the office

2008-06-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

i was working the late shift on the national desk; the day after obama was elected as the first black democratic nominee. as you can imagine, i was expecting a pretty dull and uneventful day.

i was wrong.

in the photo below, a man is attempting to scale our building. we were watching the tv in semi-shock, and i say semi-shock only because he was the second, man to climb the building today.

there first, was a professional (otherwise known as "spiderman") who made the climb before i arrived around 3:30 pm.

here's the second climber in action.

here he is again, wearing a shirt that reads, "malaria no more," and on his way to bellevue for observations.

never a dull day. that's for sure.

song of the week

2008-06-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

expressing emotions,
they do it well.

healthy destruction for anyone.

(metallica/master of puppets)

listening

2008-05-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

english was always my best subject, but i loved biology.

in college, my chosen courses (other then my major; naturally, biological anthropology) were always studio art, film, creative literature & phys. ed. i never stopped through the busy times (i wasn't the average college student; i worked full time) to think about what those things meant.

i always chose biology because i was fascinated with it. i wanted to
be in it. i didn't care that the concepts didn't always come so
natural to me. i had to study hard, especially when it came to physics and chemistry, but i enjoyed the challenge. it gave me a rush.

my grandfather owned a funeral parlor in the south side of
chicago and my aunt kept it up until about the time i was born.
my fascination with the human body was in my blood. my grandmother a nurse, my favorite cousin a pediatrician, my grandfather & aunt both undertakers. biology was a family business.

since kindergarten, i just knew i wanted to be a pediatrician. i still have a picture that i drew from elementary school where i was dressed up in a white coat, stethoscope in hand and palm trees in the background.

wow, how life is different than that picture. here i am, in brooklyn instead of california, dogwoods instead of palms and a paint brush instead of a stethoscope.

i don't study biology anymore; but naturally, i still love it and im
fascinated by science. instead of chromosomes, i study emotions and perceptions. i try to be aware of everything around me. ive been trying to find myself as an artist. ive been searching for that "thing" that people seek to find.

i haven't found it yet, but when i bought this computer, it was
supposed to be for learning graphics. its been 3 months and the only thing ive done is write.

writing has always been an easy way for me to express myself. i would confess my most deep, confused or romantic feelings through letters. even when i was a child, i would leave notes for my mom instead of asking her questions. they would usually read: "can i go out to play? check yes or no."

through writing you can be so honest. expression can be clear in ways that might not work verbally. i praise those that can verbally express themselves with clarity and ease.

back in college when i was having really hard time
emotionally, i would always write about it. id write about the great
times and the terrible times. i loved writing stream of consciousness. i could look back on it and i understood just how i was feeling in the moment.

in all of my sketch books, there's tons of writing. in some, more
writing then sketches. and still, ive never given writing as place on my list of passions.

its so funny when you just take a moment to look at things. in this fast paced city that is new york, i have to say, ive been able
to self reflect. its always true that the best things are usually right in front of you, waiting for you to grab them.

song of the week

2008-05-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

she has a way,
of surrounding you,
with surreal visions.

(tracy chapman/for my lover)

my mom said, "no" to drugs

2008-05-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

last night, i talked to my mom for the first time in a couple weeks. we were talking about childbirth due to the recent influx of May babies.

she told me that i was a natural delivery. i never knew this. in all these years, i didn't know i was the only one out of my siblings to have a natural birth. when i was younger, i was always inquisitive about my birth and wanted to know what it was like. my dad had it on tape, until one of his friends taped over it with a baseball game.

my mom would tell me small details about her pregnancy with me, but never much about the delivery. i remember the story of my older sister; who used to follow her around the house mocking her every move, grunting, waddling and holding her belly. i also knew from photos that i took a cruise to the big island.

as i got older, she would tell me less and less about my birth. it finally came to the point where she'd chuckle and say, "look at your baby book, i've had four children!" so id go back to my brown and yellow cloth covered book in search of answers. i remember the cover had a poem on it and a brown baby, that was supposed to represent me. the pages were filled with comments on my first solid foods, the funny faces i made and immunization dates. the baby book was my main portal back to this delivery scene.

last night must have been a special. as my mother shared the news about my natural delivery, she talked in more detail then ever before.

a team of nurses massaged her and encouraged breathing. music played in the background, and i came into the world. she described it all so gracefully, as if i just "came." i'm sure i was not at all this glamorous, but last night, my mom made it sound easy. she pushed through.

i started to think about how mood & environment affects the whole process of giving birth. when she told me there music playing it made sense. i have a relationship with music. it brings on emotions that can sometimes be indescribable.

music heals.

when its best, its pulled from the soul.

blood, sweat. and tears.

last night, when i sat and thought about our conversation something inside me clicked. i felt a lost piece of me jump back into my soul.

its such a comforting feeling to hear something that you already know about yourself - from someone else. especially, your mother.

(art: beatien yazz, mother and child)

song of the week

2008-05-06T18:08:00.001-07:00

summer is coming.
blue skies and beaming sun.
sweet licks for your ears.

(red house/jimi hendrix)

the weight of words

2008-05-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

last night, i stumbled upon a website after doing some art therapy reflection exercises. the activities consisted of imagining my visual inner self vs. my outer self, thinking of the most beautiful place and drawing consistently without pre-conceived thoughts. that last one was pretty hard. its like meditation. your mind always seems to get ahead of you. one minute you're scribbling rhythmically and the next you think, "oooo, i'm going to make a bunch of pretty circles! dag, brain. stop giving me ideas." the mind has to be calmed, and when its mellow, there's an unbelievable feeling of peace. after the exercises, i was instructed to share my feelings about the words, drawings and symbols that poured out of me. i started thinking about symbolism and how it affects people subconsciously. so this is when i found...the site.

i googled "symbolism,"and came across a "dictionary of symbolism," created by someone at the university of michigan. while scrolling through the alphabet, i see the word "black." my antlers were already up because i knew where this was going (in most cases) and they proved my theory correct.

Black
Black represents a lack of color, the primordial void, emptiness. It can also mean sorrow or mourning, in the Christian tradition of wearing black to funerals. In this respect it can also symbolize death. Black is also linked to witchcraft (Black Magic), evil, and the unknown, as the predominant color worn by "evil witches" in colonial America. The stock market crash of 1929, dubbed "Black Tuesday" further links the color with loss, depression, and despair.

i knew it would say this and i was really hoping that it wouldn't. as a child, my mom always provided positive examples of "blackness," in a country where "black," is always negative.

outside of the home, my teachers and peers said; "black is ugly, evil, death."

at home, my mother said; "black is beautiful, strong, mighty."

times haven't changed much since then.

White
White may be defined either as the absence of all color or the presence of all colors of the light spectrum, and can represent either innocence or the ultimate goal of purification. White is often the heavenly, while BLACK is the underworld. It is LIGHT, AIR, life, holiness, love, redemption. The white flag is a symbol of surrender or friendship. this mentality that white is represents "the good" and black represents "the bad" (because god forbid there is an in between) is long standing.

black people are continuously represented as un-educated, athletic, tap-dancing, aggressive, chicken-eating, 40-drinking, gold-teeth-having, gold-chain wearing, rapping, baby-making, unemployed, criminals. this common representation goes along with old ideologies of categorizing people based on their appearance.

i'm aware that these are not the only ways in which we are represented but this personification is like an epidemic.

i recently read an article where several young black boys were sent home for shaving lines into their eyebrows.

when i was in high school, the football team used to shave each other's heads as part of an initiation process. even though they looked like skinheads, i don't think i ever heard of them being sent home.

we need unification. positivity. hope.

so many lost youth. so many distant elders. so many locked up. so many dead. brainwashed. un-willing. un-available, emotionally.

these theories,

that were founded by the principles,

of the "founding fathers,"

need to find their way to the trash.

burn these ideas.

we need love.